Footprints in the snow!

Is it only me or has Xmas rather crept up this year?

One minute it was November and I saw lots of people with silly facial hair (Movember), and all of a sudden the big Xmas food shop is looming, and the opportunity to eat and drink too much is upon us. 

I have to admit that my better half has been fantastic this year and sorted out most of the Xmas things. Travelling so regularly does severely reduce the time I have to engage with Xmas until the last minute and she was very understanding of this.

The last time I wrote a blog it was just about to snow heavily. As it turned out, it rather impacted me and my work colleagues. We are very spread across the UK and most people had a few days of being snowed in and working from home.

Down in darkest Somerset, we really didn’t see very much snow at all, but as one ventured up the M5 it became worse and worse until the schools were shut and the homes snowed in. On the day of the heavy snow we were travelling down the M5 from one end to the other, from the Midlands to Bristol. The snow was deep across the motorway and lorries were increasingly becoming stuck in the inside lane.

Most people were driving sensibly, but there was the odd one or two who clearly were fearless, clueless, and suicidal. They were driving on the snow in the outside lane as if it was a regular Sunday morning, in normal tyres and rear wheel drive. Every now and then you would see them slide across lanes out of control, but they carried on as if nothing had happened.

This somehow reminded me that it is at times like these that we really need to think of others, which is what Xmas spirit is all about. But these idiots had not a second thought for anyone else and were hell bent on killing themselves. I suppose it takes all sorts to fill the country, I just wish that some people would decide to take themselves elsewhere.

We had the opportunity to walk in the snow, somewhere we had never been. This was brilliant, virgin snow laying on canals and woodland, with only the evidence of a few bird footprints. There is something magical about the sound that travels in snow. It is muffled, it is clipped and it is quiet. I could walk for hours, the snow somehow dusting everything in fairy dust, giving you an extra boost of energy and interest. What was once a dirty footpath is now pristine, with no sense of what lies beneath.

That is why it is so great to have this magical element to Xmas. The feeling of endless optimism and joy supported by magical weather outside.  Xmas is a period to spend more time with people you love and cosy up with the pets in the warm while looking out on a carpet of white.

Sadly, this year we won’t be seeing snow at Xmas in Somerset, so a walk in the cold, followed by a winter warmer and a wonderful wintry meal will just have to do. Our tipple will be Nero D’Avola and our feast will be brisket of beef in onion gravy. Not a bad way to spend Xmas day!

Local Wildlife - Awoken by the Alarm

During our trip into the snowy midlands we had an unusual experience. These days, my ability to last a whole journey without having to pay a visit is pretty unusual. My favourite stopping point is Gloucester services. For those people who have never stopped there, it is a farm shop on steroids. The best of everything farm-related in a service station at fairly extortionate prices. But it is really nice and very tempting.

But for me, Gloucester services has a range of comfortable toilets, just the right distance from my house. Being a bad diabetic, one can often have an instant need to go, a bit like a trip to India. This place is my saviour on many an occasion, although I am sure part of it is psychological.

So there I am feeling relieved to reach the toilet on one such trip, when a terrible alarm sounds. At first you are tempted to ignore it, and just to continue “going”. But then it didn’t stop and a jumped up Charlie started banging on the doors telling me to get out.

Now when you are “going”, the last thing you need is to be rushed or stopped. In crude terms, do I hold it in or let it all out? But the alarm keeps sounding and the man keeps banging the door. A vision rushes before your eyes. Would you rather be burned to death or finish using the toilet?

I’m afraid I took the risk. But you start to rush as the noise continues. Eventually I was “finished” – (it was only a couple of minutes) . I wandered out to find several people staring at me hard and then as I left the toilet, the whole of the service station standing outside looking in. It was cold outside, and the snow was falling. I was not popular. Or put another way, everyone hated me – although they didn’t really know what I had been doing.

As soon as I reached the door, the fire marshall said, “right everyone back in”. It was all for nothing. The rush was for no point, except to test the alarm.

Happy I had survived the inferno, I carried on my way with the slightly uncomfortable feeling that accompanies unfinished business J

After a long day with my in-laws, we retired to a local hotel. There is nowhere to sleep at their house, so we make use of the local Holiday Inn. We had eaten well, and were both very tired, soon wandering in the land of nod.

But then a noise shattered the peace. An alarm was sounding very loud. This time we both jumped out of bed and started to clothe ourselves respectably enough to go outside. This took seconds, but felt like ages. As we wandered down the hall towards sanctity, we were surrounded by people in their pyjamas all looking jealously at our proper clothes.

Once again it was a false alarm.

As soon as we reached the fresh air, we were called back in. No harm done and no trace of smoke. As we climbed back into bed cursing our luck, we were quickly back in the land of nod. But this time scanning the horizon for the nearest smoke alarm or fire bell.

Decorations in Wroclaw

Every town, village or city in the UK prides itself on the Xmas decorations that it puts up at Xmas. Most large conurbations dress their centre with an assortment of lights and trees swathed in multi-coloured robes. They usually invite a local celebrity to turn on the lights and engage the local population in some friendly banter.

Give a thought for poor Walsall and its new decorations – see link below.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5095252/walsall-council-christmas-lights-pants-washing-line/

Golden underpants are not quite what they had in mind!

New Addition to the Printer

Tango has no time to write us an article this week. He is too busy using his new powers of jumping and exploring. He is not fully healed yet, but he is making a remarkable recovery. He has re-discovered the delights of walking on my keyboard and drooling on my mouse. He leaps up onto the table and warms his arse on the radiator unaided.

His new smile is particularly endearing. He looks like he has got someone else’s teeth in that don’t quite fit properly. I haven’t managed to get a picture of this yet.

He is starting to develop a rotund figure to match his human friend. He always does this in the winter when the joy of going outside starts to escape him.

He has started to bite his brother more regularly when he is asleep, without there being a major fight. His brother seems to realise this is part of his recovery and doesn’t beat him up too badly.

He still has a large patch on his back as a reminder that he was ill, and he does wobble around when he tries to run too fast, but my my how he has recovered. I only wish I could regenerate in quite the same way.

Our Face of 2017

It just falls to me to wish all of you a very merry Xmas.

Another year has passed and we look forward to even more talk about Brexit and what might have been. No one is quite sure where it will all land, but it is bound to be a bumpy ride, (we have already lost 3 ministers in the past 2 months).

MP's are all required to vote for the final outcome at the end, (I am not sure what happens if they don’t agree). Maybe, they can wind the clock back and start all over again, making different mistakes this time.

In my current work place we use a Monte Carlo simulation algorithm to model our future business outcomes, maybe they should run this on Brexit and have done with it.

There will be more of a review of 2017 next time, but what else are we likely to see in 2018?

More and weirder behaviours from POTUS (Mr Trump)?? – maybe he will have annexed North Korea by this time next year

Further fall-out in the Middle East?? – the US will now recognise that Iran is the new capital of Saudi Arabia and everyone else should do the same

England will win the World Cup – beating Germany in the final (well we can dream!)

Tango will make a complete recovery and go back to catching rabbits and squirrels (I kind of like the current quiet period, that he is not quite able to do this at the moment, but obviously we wish him back to full health)

What would you like to see?

I hope you have a good holiday period and go back with the bit between your teeth and a renewed feeling of vigour. I know I intend to.

Watch out for 2018!

I hope you have all had a good Xmas party at some point. I was privileged to go to Poland to spend time with the team there. They certainly know how to enjoy themselves and they have the locations to do it. As I watched a motorbike doing wheelies in the main entrance hall of the Xmas party with radio controlled cars racing around in the background, I really got a sense of what Xmas means to the Polish teams.

It is 50 years since the Beatles were at the height of their powers.  I was only just starting out on life’s great journey. When you listen back to some of their records of the time, they are still true masterpieces even when compared to all of the technology that is available now. For me, there is only one record to end the year on. I have heard this repeatedly on the radio, TV and it is one of my favourite songs of all time, (or at least part of the medley).

Look out for the drummer, lead guitarists and conductor. Not a bad super group.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjKtfvKJSuk

Have a great Xmas holiday.