Our lazy bones cats!

Xmas falls on Sunday this year which means that there is quite a build-up and still a couple of days off afterwards. Unfortunately, the forecast for most of the country is rain, so an Xmas indoors seems like the order of the day. Those of you enjoying the sunshine of the southern hemisphere get no sympathy for being too hot.

We always try to get our cats a little something different to eat for Xmas. But with the variety of stuff they have now had, it gets progressively harder to think of something new they will eat and enjoy. They are also banned from anything fattening so a low-calorie Xmas treat is like finding hens teeth.

We also used to buy them some form of present, but they enjoy the boxes more than the present so now we just find them something to play with. A cardboard box, a piece of string or a mysterious hidden animal under a blanket game or similar.

Making the blanket or duvet move by putting your hand under it can be a hazardous game as the cats have sharp claws and can move at a speed that my brain cannot keep up with. They get so excited that I invariably end up with a scratch or two, or if I am really lucky, a plaster to stop the bleeding. But they love the game and it stops them constantly asking for food. Maybe it is the opportunity to scratch me they really enjoy but it is also the only exercise they are likely to get if it rains, and it keeps my reactions sharp J

We have tried any number of motorised animal substitutes but they usually just watch it for about 10 seconds and then do something else. So the hidden animal game is the only one they really join in with.

Noises in the night

Most nights I don’t sleep for very long before something breaks my spell. A strange noise in the house, an electronic sound from my phone or iPad, the cats fighting or running around or a simple necessity to pay a quick visit.

It’s sounds a bit weird, but whenever I wake up I never know precisely why I am awake and therefore I am in the habit of listening to the sounds of the night to see if anything is going on, checking my phone and then checking my email.

Last Saturday night was no different. I was awoken at 2am having gone to bed late after a family dinner. I had no idea why I was awake but I listened to the sounds of the house. It was all quiet.

I checked my phone, nothing new, just the same as 2 hours earlier when I went to bed.

I checked my mail – “oh look I have something interesting from National Lottery”. “Subject - News about your ticket”.

And this is what it said ….

Dear Sir,

We’ve got some news about your ticket from the draw on Saturday 17 Dec 2016.

Please sign in to your account as soon as you can for more information.

Congratulations and thank you for playing!

“That sounds interesting, I thought, and they are congratulating me, so I must have won something on the lottery?”.

“I have never had a mail from them like this before so maybe it is the jackpot – I thought!”

Lots of wild thoughts started to rush around inside my head.

“Don’t be silly I never win anything of real value, but what if I really have this time?”

Trying to contain my excitement I fumbled around and found my iPad. Logging onto the National Lottery site I could feel a sense of anticipation building in my stomach.

I entered my login and password and waited for the good news.

“The National Lottery Site is down on a daily basis between 2am and 5am – Please log in again later”

“How can I possibly wait for 3 hours to find out??

“How inconsiderate of them to take their system down at this time of the day, don’t they realise I am becoming a millionaire!”

Seeing there was nothing else to do I went back to bed. “I will sleep the time away and wake up to the good news.”

Back in bed, I turned one way, then the other and then back. I got out of the duvet, then under it, then back out of it. I could not go back to sleep.

The excitement was now at fever pitch. In my head I had already paid off the mortgage, given some of the winnings to family and friends and was planning our next holiday.

“Then the debate of how much would a jackpot be – took over?”

“1 million?, 5 million???, 10 million????”

Each time I had a new exciting thought I said to myself, “Hang on, I could have just won a few quid so don’t get too excited”. But then the wild thoughts took over.

“They don’t email you if you have won a few quid. I know this because I have done this before.”

I looked at the clock, 3.30am, and then I was gone, dreaming of summer and forgetting all about my new life of luxury.

All of a sudden I awoke. 5.05 am.

“Oh my god, I can login!”

I fumbled with my iPad and it started to log in.

You have won £112 on the Lotto.

The anti-climax was overwhelming.

“But that is less than I pay each year to play the thing …..”.

“It will only just pay off the parking fine we picked up in LIDL last week ….” (Beware LIDL use number plate recognition to measure your time in the car park).

I put the iPad back on the shelf and dozed back to sleep drowning in the adrenaline that I no longer needed, mortgage now resurrected and holiday abandoned.

I later discovered that even with 5 numbers I would only have won £1,000 so it really isn’t likely that I will win enough to change my life. Maybe a metal detector could be a better investment to find the missing gold Roman fortune.

Cock pheasant struts his stuff

On Sunday morning I awoke to a strange sound that I swear was someone outside saying, “Come on darling, it won’t take a minute!”.

After the night I had just had this was not a joke.

I poked my head through the curtains and there before me was a very large cock pheasant puffed up like a blowfish and running around the garden in short sprints, shouting at the top of his voice.

Within a couple of feet of him was a young female hen determined that this older male wouldn’t get to touch her if she had anything to do with it. They rushed from place to place, the hen changing direction in an instant and the cock cutting her off before she got away.

Fascinated I watched them for some time, him displaying his extensive feathers, and her showing no interest except to escape. The ritual went on for some time.

Finally, I had to go outside to put some rubbish in the bin. Quite forgetting about the courtship dancing that was going on, I walked out of the back door straight into them both. She made a run for it into the bushes and he just stood there as if to say, “Now look what you have done!”

Sadly, I don’t think she came back as I have seen him all week with his male friend but no harem. Maybe he has decided that having a male friend is just so much less hassle!

Xmas trees grow for 15 years

With it being so close to the main event I thought a few Xmas facts might be of interest.

• The letter X is a Greek abbreviation for Christ – hence Xmas.
• The world’s tallest Xmas tree was 221 ft in Washington in 1950.
• The odds on a white Xmas as 10:1 in England
• Before turkey, the traditional meal at Xmas was pig’s head and mustard
• The first commercial Xmas cards were commissioned by a civil servant in 1843. He has a lot to answer for.
• The Beatles hold the record for the most number 1 uk Xmas singles – 4.
• It’s technically illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day in England. In the 17th century, Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas pudding, mince pies and anything to do with gluttony. The law has never been rescinded.
• Christmas trees usually grow for about 15 years before they’re sold.
• Japanese people traditionally eat at KFC for Christmas dinner, thanks to a successful marketing campaign 40 years ago. KFC is so popular that customers must place their Christmas orders 2 months in advance.
• 230,000 tonnes – The amount of wasted Christmas food that is thrown away each year
• Christmas pudding was originally a soup made with raisins and wine.

As there was a series of remembrance events from the 1^st world war this year, I thought there is only one advert to complete the selection for this year. This advert is not funny but celebrates the human spirit even in our darkest hours. A real event from 1914 that the military have never really wanted to celebrate as it went against the mentality of the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWF2JBb1bvM 

Picture Round and Quiz

This week there are a few final Xmas pictures and then a quiz. I hope this gets you in the mood for the weekend.

Have a great Xmas!

1. Name these 5 people who died on Xmas day and in which year? 

1. One of the original Rat Pack – aged 78
2. Unique actor / comedian died in Switzerland – aged 88
3. The Godfather of Soul/Funk – aged 73
4. American singer of “Santa Baby” – aged 81
5. Executed communist dictator – aged 71

2. This famous American inventor got married on Xmas day - who is he?

1. Built his first lab aged 10
2. Largely deaf from the age of 12
3. Once proposed marriage via Morse code
4. Invented concrete furniture – it never caught on!
5. Once electrocuted a supposedly unruly elephant in front of 1,500 people
6. A contemporary of Henry Ford and has a house next door to Ford's in Florida where they escaped together to plot world rubber domination
7. Had a light bulb moment in 1879

3. This DJ / TV personality was born on Xmas day in 1944 – known for his wacky humour he died of AIDS in 1995. A very good friend of Freddie Mercury during the 70s.

4. On Xmas day in 1990 – the first successful trial of a technological infrastructure that has changed the world forever.

5. This iconic American actor divorced his wife of 12 years on Xmas day, (that was an Xmas present to remember). Born with a name normally associated with a woman, he died in 1979 and was largely associated with a single genre of films.

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